Entertainment, Inspiration, Love

FINDING YOUR SOUL-MATE BY CHARLENE B.

I’m so very excited to share HealthySexyMindful’s first ever guest post.  Charlene is a blogger herself, and though she loves blogging about the music/entertainment industry as a career, her heart yearned to write an off topic post that felt dear to her own heart.  Here she shares her feelings on true love and soul-mates…

 

FINDING YOUR SOUL-MATE

Some people never meet their “better half”. According to people who have, when you meet yours, you experience a feeling of instant recognition. And over time, they bring out the best in you. Call yours whatever you want; your soul mate, your lover, your kindred spirit. The label doesn’t matter.

It sounds sort of magical doesn’t it? Finding your soul mate or lover?
Someone to kiss and to go on dates with. Someone whose hand you squeeze during scary movies. Someone to open your life to, give your heart to. Someone you can see yourself with, years and years down the road.

But finding that person is scary. Every love song, movie and romance novel has created a perception of what finding that person is supposed to be like.
If we were to believe the unrealistic fantasy – a lover is supposed to be attractive, sexy, enticing, reliable and romantic. Everything we’ve ever dreamed of, right? He (or she) is supposed to be this perfect person. But is perfection in love real?

Finding a flawless, “complete me” type of person is pretty impossible, I think. But that’s a good thing because none of us would make the cut. That’s why we shouldn’t look for something picture perfect. I think a lot of people have got it all wrong. Love isn’t about finding the perfect person. I think love is also about finding a best friend. Because once you find that person, you have someone you’re compatible with on many levels – not just romantically.

How will you know if you’ve found your soul-mate? I’ve narrowed it down to the basics.
Find someone you can be completely free around. Someone to wake up to in the mornings in your oldest, most comfortable PJ’s and not feel like you have to be anything you’re not.
Find someone to laugh with, to stay up late talking with, and go on adventures with.                                                Someone who thinks your My Little Pony collection is cool, who knows every little thing about you, and loves you anyway.
Someone to share comfortable silences with, because just being together is enough.                                                       Most importantly, find someone you can trust enough to talk openly with, without any fear of being judged or criticized – who will be there for you, no matter what.

When you find that person you will share moments that are so special and so personal it would be impossible to explain to anyone. That’s when you know you’re with the right person- your soul mate, your lover, your kindred spirit.

 

About the Author

Charlene is an advocate of individuality and a firm believer in dessert for breakfast. Her biggest passion is music. Whilst the very thought of a nightclub is generally enough to send her running for the hills, concerts are her happy place. Hand-in-hand with her love of music comes a consuming desire for adventure. She also loves reading and is a closet conic book superhero geek. In her precious moments of spare time, she writes and spends far too much time tweeting @JustChar83.

 

Would you like to be considered to be a featured guest on HealthySexyMindfulLiving?

Email serious inquiries only to ljmblog.info@gmail.com

 

Acting, Art, Entertainment, Health, Mind, Spirit

Renee Lawless Goes Beyond: The Haves And The Have Nots

Renee Lawless is a strong southern woman from Knoxville Tennessee.  She has a background in theater- if you couldn’t tell by her voice- and currently you can find her starring as Katheryn Cryer on Tyler Perry’s The Haves And The Have Nots.

Renee and I met in acting class last year and I immediately got a kick out of her boisterous personality.  What really charmed me though was what I experienced one day when she allowed us to witness a deeply emotional scene of hers.

If you’ve ever been to an acting class- you know that shit can get real- fast.  It takes a lot of trust, and a lot of chutzpah, to stand up in front of an entire class and allow them to witness your raw uncensored self.  And on that particular Thursday I got a peak into Renee’s…

I learned that not only is Renee a spitfire southern woman but underneath that veneer of strength she encompasses this extraordinarily innocent, almost childlike persona.   It was as if I got to step back in time with her and experience her as a little girl.  It was beautiful.  And a gift.  And it reminded me that innocence is never really lost, only waiting to be uncovered again.

In this clip from our interview Renee and I briefly discuss faith and how she stays committed to practicing mindful living in her daily life.   And though what she calls her higher power may differ from my verbiage, to me they are both very much the same thing.  The experience we achieve in communicating with source serves the same purpose for us both, getting us back to base.

 

Stay up to date on everything Renee Here.

And be Sure to tune in Tuesday nights 9c for The Haves And The Have Nots.

 

o-HOLDING-HANDS-facebook
Health, Inspiration, Love, Love and Relationships, Mind, Spirit

10 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship That Will Last

 

Love Illuminates our Souls. 

And Relationships give us the ability to discover ourselves on a deep, intimate level.

That’s why it’s so important to create a healthy relationship.  One where both parties have something to offer.  Both are committed to growth.  And both are aware there will be ups and downs but each peak and valley ultimately helps make the relationship stronger.

Below are a list  of traits I’ve found in my, and others, healthy relationships.  Good luck!

 

1.  THE RELATIONSHIP IS WELL BALANCED

2.  YOU EACH FIND WAYS TO COMPROMISE

3.  YOU CHALLENGE EACH OTHER

4.  YOU SUPPORT EACH OTHERS GROWTH

5.  YOU DON’T BECOME COMPLACENT

6.  YOU WANT, AND ARE ABLE, TO ENGAGE IN SEPARATE INTERESTS

7.  YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION

8.   YOU ARE HONEST AND OPEN-EVEN WHEN IT’S SCARY

9.  YOU TRUST EACH OTHER

10.  YOU GET THAT TINGLY, HEART-SKIP-A-BEAT FEELING WHEN YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THEM FOR A WHILE

 

Art by Vladimir Kush
Art, Health, Mind, Spirit

Metamorphosis of a Blogger

Sometimes I wait, I pause.  For maybe a little too long for inspiration to find me.  Or for me to find it, whichever comes first, it doesn’t matter.  Sometimes I have to throw the baby out with the bathwater because the purpose it served me to begin, is not the purpose that sustains me now.

My blog was always in the back of my mind but I could not make a false move, could not write a post just because that little voice told me I was supposed to or that I was a bad girl if I didn’t.  Nope, I knew better than to listen to that nonsense!

I knew I needed a genuine and truthful reason to take action- not solely a force of will to override the system.  I also knew that the reason I began my initial venture- for me to become confident in sharing my unique voice with the world- was changing.

I was aware I was in a transition period but I still had no idea what would happen next, and no inspiration coming through me to write.  So I waited and I watched.  I didn’t know whether I would ever write again but I knew well enough to honor the time the process took and not to punish myself for it.

Low and behold after allowing myself the necessary time to process I went into a super-deep meditation one day and came out inspired to write but from a completely new place!  I was inspired by a source deep within…  There was no fear, just trust in the gift of what the universe was giving me.

And all of a sudden it was like a weight had been lifted.  I was like a kid, experiencing the journey and enjoying the process…. In total trust.  What a novelty, right?  It was like knowing that mom and dad have “got it all under control” so you can just relax, and do what comes naturally, without all the pressure.  This was like that, only instead of mom and dad, I was now trusting that I was being held by some large invisible source.

And OMG- To let go and allow something else to take the lead- Well, that was a relief!  Because who actually knows whether or not we’re really doing life right, right??  Sooo we might as well Let Go, Relax, And ENJOY where this ride is taking us!

Okay, So, I know we’re not all ready to totally give up the hold we have our minds, or our lives (I mean, let’s be real, minds are useful for certain things!)  but we can practice loosening the grip we have on those reigns, can’t we?

I fought it for a long time, I mean, it’s scary to give up control and the way I think life should go in order to trust in some unseen source.  Not to mention it takes time to learn to hear what nature is asking and be able to read the signs.  Then, to trust that it’s leading me in a positive direction even when it doesn’t seem that way at the time– Oy!

It is, a practice.  Every day.

The notion probably sounds weird and looks crazy to most people, my own husband probably wonders WTF I do without forcing my will upon the world in order to make things happen.  But there is another way…

By no means am I perfect at it- I’m like a wee babe- not a master.  But it is indeed happening.  And I’m super proud of myself and all the time and effort I put in to arrive here.

So here I am, ready to begin to be used for a purpose.  And in this process of letting go, I get to become more free.  And I realize that this is the only true thing I’ve ever really been interested in.

****

In my adolescent experimental years I remember having a mushroom trip with a best friend of mine…  She and I had this moment where we looked at each other and knew that we had had the exact same thought, at the exact same time.  Without even saying a word.  In that moment we shared One Mind.

That very same trip I remember, vividly, knowing there was a heartbeat- an actual rhythm- to the universe.  And that I could walk in unison with it.  It was like being inside a giant womb, everything felt closer and more connected than it appeared.  Even the stars were within reach.

I didn’t realize then that my life would take on the plight of clearing away all the rhetoric in my brain that came between me and this connection.  And balancing on that tight rope of letting go and walking simultaneously with this beat would prove to be no easy task.  But I was insistent.

To me, this what life,  yoga, dance, mediation, etc. are all here to guide us back to… Knowing that there is a divine, all encompassing, loving womb, throbbing just under the surface of everything.

And if we choose, we can surrender our own agenda and walk in unison with the heartbeat of the entire universe.

 

Vladimir Kush

Images by one of my favorite artists, Vladimir Kush

 

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See Your Self Here
Body and Fitness, Health, Mind, Spirit

Beauty In The Pause

Do you ever just stop?  To sit.  Pause.  And watch nature?  Just being the observer.

As I write this, I’m sitting in the beauty of the greenery of my backyard.  The leaves are rustling, the air is mildly brisk, a plane fly’s overhead, children play next door, and off in the distance there’s faint 40’s style war music playing.  Oh, and a dove coo’s.

This is Bliss.  Clear and simple, loud and subtle.  The space is full.  There is no rush.  Only everything here to captivate and inspire us.

But wait, hold on, noooo…. It’s fading into the background…. you’re letting it slip away!

So many times we get lost in the race, worried about getting ahead, the next step.  Like hamsters stuck in a wheel, we are running in place.  Forgetting all that is in front of us-right-now.

But when we take pause, breaking from our habitual thoughts and routines, it allows space (Space: A continuous area or expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied) for new to enter.  Putting a chink in our wheels, opening us up to the endless possibility of everything.  Space for nature to come in and work its magic.  Because it is; magic.

I mean really.. If you stop to think about the gloriousness of the intelligence that created this world, and you, wouldn’t you just relax that tight grip you have on everything?

Life doesn’t happen in a straight line, and neither should you.  And sometimes what you need and are looking for is right in front of you.  You just have to be present enough to read the signs and invite it in.

Sometimes the most magical experiences happen for me in the space in between here and there.  Gifting me manifestation and insight and peace.  A deep sense of peace that otherwise would not be the norm for my mind that sits, perched, anxiously awaiting its next move.  But, if we really let go isn’t that the most deep true thing there is?  A sense of peace with it all?

Not knowing or needing to know, the why, the how, the where, we’re going or have come from…  Just serenity in the fact that we’re here, having this wondrous experience.  That to me is worth more than any next plan I could be making.

PEACE.  It’s what we are, were, and always have been.  And it’s here, within you, to tap into any time you choose.

It’s waiting, you are waiting.

 

Acting, Art, Body and Fitness, Health, Mind, Travel

Fall In Love, With Torrey DeVitto

I met Torrey to shoot this interview just a couple of days before she was moving her entire life from Los Angeles to Chicago. In the midst of her latest adventure she was uprooting herself to become a permanent member on NBC’s new spin off, Chicago Med.  Torrey’s newest role has her playing pediatrician, Dr. Natalie Manning.

You’ve all heard the saying Life imitates Art, or vice versa?  Well, Torrey has been working with children for many years now, one of the first things she and I bonded over was putting together a charity event for the organization she’s been such a huge advocate for, Road to Hope.  Over the years she has traveled to Africa and seen first hand the work they do there that is changing the lives of numerous children and the people who care for them.  Much of Torrey’s life has been about giving back and finding time to help others, which is why it’s so fitting that her art has caught up with all of the great work that she’s done in her real life.

As soon as she arrived in Chicago the show entered her into a doctor training of sorts, where she learned and honed new skills to make her character even more authentic.  With the combined efforts of the work that she’s done throughout the years, with Road to Hope and Hospice, and the new activities she’s learning being a part of this ensemble, Torrey is set to make a very real, very caring, doctor.

This is what is so powerful about acting.  All the gifts we have to offer, that are normally reserved for our private lives, are given willingly to the characters we play.  And the clearer one gets about their desires and purpose in life, the more their art seems to reflect that intention.  On one hand it’s make believe, on the other it’s not.

Essentially you are creating your own world.  And while sharing your unique vision and experience, your truth travels through the airwaves like a butterfly effect, into the hearts of the audience.  Sharing your essence with the entire world.

It takes a certain kind of person and commitment to be up for this challenge.  There are years of unseen practice, and numerous experiences, that go into who you are and what you’re willing to expose.  Over time all of that is ready to blossom, and you become what you were destined to be.

Torrey has done the preparation.  She remains open, willing, and excited.  Aware of the gift of it all, and handling it with grace and a smile on her face.

 

 

 

Art, Body and Fitness, Health, Mind, Music, Spirit

Find Your Voice On The Pole…

Sometimes life introduces you to people that have a well of depth inside of them, they’ve connected to the place where all things spring out of and the conversation can begin there.  This, if you haven’t realized, is my favorite place.  I hate the surface.  I love to be entrenched, swallowed whole, submerged for as long as I can withstand… Even better when I find someone that’s willing to take the dive with me.

Sheila Kelley is one of these people.  She’s gone into the deepest parts of a human’s being, using the body as her guide.  She can take one look at you and cut through the bullshit, getting right to the core.  Maybe she was born with it, maybe it’s a talent she’s honed over the years through her keen observation, dedication, and animal whispering work, either way it’s a gift.  And if you can trust in her, and her process, you will transform.

Learning, however, is not always an easy task.  Being on the pole can bring up an entire spectrum of emotions -Fear, doubt, anger, grief, pain, frustration, hunger, desire, ecstasy- You name it and you can use the pole to feel it and heal it.   Whatever you embody will come up.  No words have to be exchanged, the body knows what it holds, and the being knows how to release it.

Once your body and being have integrated the dance moves, there’s no need to think or protect yourself anymore, you can let go and give in to the experience.  What was once the inspiration to get started (the most intensely fun, innovative, kick-ass workout that gets your body in the best shape of its life) is now only part of the reason to stay.

Now that it’s just you, the pole, and the music, everything else melts away, and you get to go on the ride.  Each dance is different, each day an entirely new experience of yourself.  What gets revealed is your essence.  Sheila calls it our Erotic Creature but to me it’s more innately who I am.

At S the Journey is all about embracing your sublime feminine self.  Be unapologetic in your expression of her.  Be the beautiful goddess you were born to be.  The world is waiting.

To learn more about S Factor and Sheila’s upcoming Retreats click here.

 

 

 

Acting, Art, Body and Fitness, Health, Mind, Spirit

Connecting With Arielle Kebbel

Recently I sat down to do an interview with my friend Arielle Kebbel.  Kebbel has had an impressive artillery of roles over the years, with films like the Grudge 2, The Uninvited, John Tucker Must Die and recurring roles on some of pop cultures most recognizable TV shows, Gilmore Girls, 90210, and the Vampire Diaries.  This year Arielle is solidifying her statement in the industry and making an even bolder, lasting impression.  With her stunningly real, and at times painful, portrayal of ‘Brittany’, a contestant on Lifetime’s new hit show, UnREAL.  And her ballsy series regular character Tracy, starring opposite The Rock, on HBO’s breakout sports series Ballers.
Over the years I have seen Arielle work incredibly hard in this business.  She has kept pushing, and never stopped believing.  Arielle has always seemed to have an unspoken faith in herself but over the past two years I have watched as she’s taken more risks and let go of any false need to please others.  She has put her own truth on a pedestal.  Taking an honest look at both her inner, and outer worlds.  She has become empowered in a whole new way.
Thrust into the throws of success, her journey does not stop.  It becomes even more poignant, more important to stay on top of her game.  She is constantly navigating finding the time to balance, get centered, and check in with what is important.  As her success grows, everything else is asked to grow along with it.  Successful people must create successful habits.  Here Arielle discusses some of the healthy habits she’s implemented along the way, tricks that she’s learned, and her own unique process to getting here.

 

Acting, Art, Body and Fitness, Health, Mind, Music, Spirit

Magic Mike XXL & What Women Want

Recently my friends and I went out for a girls night to see Magic Mike XXL.   And boy did this film take us for a ride, and I don’t just mean a Pony ride!  Once all of the hoots, hollers and gleeful giggles had subsided, we stepped out of the theater transformed.  And stepped into a world where every man, busboy, waiter and innocent bystander, had the potential (in our minds) to break out in a seductive dance or hop onto a table and start stripping.  We for a moment saw men the way that they must see women.

Not only did we get a glimpse into a man’s world but Channing Tatum, and the entire cast of MM, showed us a whole new way that women can be appreciated and adored.  Which made me realize two things: One, woman have been objectified in our culture, in movies, ads, tv, etc. for so long that it has become common place for a man to look at her as an object, his own personal sex object.  And Two, women are desperately lacking having our own desires and fantasies, catered to, and fulfilled.   Magic Mike begins the conversation to filling that void.

Everyone thinks they know why women flock to see MM XXL (or 50 Shades of Grey for that matter)…  People are under the impression that women are just like men, that we go to watch this movie for the mostly naked, buff, shaved, sexed up bodies.  Don’t get me wrong they’re definitely impeccable but that’s not the only reason we’re here, if we wanted to that we could just go to a gym.  We are watching this movie because the men in it know how to treat women.  Know how to play into our fantasies tease us.

These men are strong, sensitive, and giving women their full attention.  No age, color, or shape is off limits, each as beautiful and worthy as the next.  Tatum knows what turns women on (being and emotionally connected to his body, mind, and spirit while fully engaging with us) and he exploits it to the fullest degree.

So, why do we eat it up?

Because women are hungry!  Women have just as many desires as men but they are not often being met.  Women are aroused by every single one of our 5 senses, and probably even our sixth.  We long for multiple kinds of stimuli (not merely visual) and today we live in a very visual society that caters mostly to a man’s desires.

Men are bombarded with sexually explicit images all day long; See a woman walk down the street, she’s scantily dressed, it’s suggestive to the male brain; Watch a TV commercial and there’s a woman looking at you while eating a burger like she wants to f*%k you; Not to mention the porn that is readily available on every single mobile device.  Men are overloaded with images that have the potential to get them off.

So where does that leave women?  Frankly we’re bored, and a little uncomfortable.  We know we have more to offer than this, and we’re dying for you to know it too!

Women long to have an entire world to play in.  One with a beginning, middle, and end.  Where sight, smell, taste, touch and sound all come together for one uniquely, explosive and memorable experience.  And guess what ladies, that’s not too complicated, it’s just who we are!  We want all of our desires fulfilled during one experience!

We long for adventure, mystery, the unknown.  We want to be teased, maybe even tortured a little- in a good way.  We want to be tied to a bed post, role play, be put in a sex cage/swing thing (Whhaaat is that amazing contraption, and where can I get one now?!).  All the while knowing we are safe during the process.  We want to explore what we’ve never experienced before…

Since the beginning of time women have been described as goddesses.  Harnessing some unknown, deeply seductive, power that cannot be defined or tamed.  In America 2015, we have somehow lost that knowledge and our flames have been squelched.  Whether it was forced upon us historically by the male species, or self induced by us because it’s easier than standing in our own light, doesn’t matter.  It’s time to embrace our radiant femininity, own the powerhouses that we are, and share our divine selves with the world!

If we want to see what the male and female species are really made of, then we must learn to co-create with one another- in the bedroom, and everywhere else.

Ladies, if we want men to help fulfill us, we must be willing to open up and share ourselves!  It’s up to us to get in touch with our deepest desires, then invite men to join us  for the ride.

The more we are each willing to openly embrace and nurture this deeply raw, primal, sensuality inside of ourselves, the happier and more fulfilled we will all be.

So thank you, Magic Mike, for forging the way.

Stand For Freedom
Health, Mind, Spirit

4 STEPS TO INDEPENDENCE

“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Our Founding Father’s intended to create a better life for us.  And in America, 2015, we live pretty good lives.  Free from so many of the struggles that we once faced, from the dangers that so many countries still face.  But have we found lasting Happiness, are we really Liberated?

Independence as a State of Mind.
We can be dependent upon many things… Parents, spouses, jobs, governments, and even our own minds.  It may sound crazy to think of your mind as a separate entity that you are dependent upon but once you begin investigating you will realize how much our thoughts are running our lives.  And if our thoughts are running our lives, are they of benefit to us?   Are we having the thoughts we want to have?  Are we choosing them, or are they choosing us?

I remember being little and having a daydream about sitting in a room watching the tv, and on the tv was a mirror image replica of other people watching their tv, and on their tv were people watching tv too.  A picture, within a picture, within a picture.  Like in Inception the three levels of consciousness.  You must wake up from one, to become aware of another.  Which makes you wonder… If we can become aware of our own thoughts and realities, then who, or what, is it that is aware?  If we are not the one that is thinking, then are we the one who is observing the thinking?  But then how are we able to see both, what awareness is beyond that?

Independence is a state of mind that can be accessed and achieved anytime, anywhere, in any situation.  Freedom from the mind is not contingent upon anyone but you.  Freedom comes from within, not without.  You hold the lock and the key.  You can be in a prison cell like Gandhi. or oppressed like MLK, and still achieve an internal state of peace.  With no outside circumstance dictating your individual happiness. Many times circumstances cannot be changed but your opinion of them can.  And guess what, once your opinion truly alters, so do your circumstances.
1) AWARENESS
The first step to becoming free, is to realize that you are not the thought you are having.  This can be a daunting idea but if it’s something that really interests you this will be the precursor to going down the rabbit hole.

2) OBSERVATION
Once you realize that thought is not your true identity you can begin to observe it.  Once observed, you are now able to put a wedge of space between you, and it.

Example: You are at the movie theater watching a movie, you don’t get confused and think you are suddenly the actors on the screen, do you?  However, there are times that you become so deeply and emotionally invested in what is happening, that you momentarily forget you are just the viewer sitting in the seats.  You lose yourself, for a moment, becoming taken by the story.

This is what watching a thought is like.  One moment you are aware “I am not the thought I am thinking, I am separate from it”  You breathe, surrendering the need to react to the thought and for a moment you are able to find stillness.

3) SEPARATION
Separation: From Thought.

Our minds, unfortunately, are not our friends.  They don’t tell us what we need to hear in order to support our growth- like “You can have anything you want!  You are a successful, amazing, individual – GO FOR IT!”  Um, No.  Instead our mind usually confirms to us why we suck, why everyone else sucks, and why we don’t have what we want yet.

The mind can be a useful tool but first we must see it for what it is.  The majority of thinking is need based.  It arises out of a desire for some thing we do not currently have.  And it’s programs have been solidified by our own history’s.  So, if what you desire is a new experience, your mind doesn’t have the answer – it can only tell you what it already knows.  So, how do you access new information?  You must go Beyond the mind, into uncharted territory (which may feel terrifying and like a loss of control- Breathe!), it’s your job to observe, without reaction.

First, harness the mind, then you can direct where you want it to go and how you want it to be used.  It’s like breaking a stallion.  In the beginning the stallion is so strong it seems impossible that he will ever be tamed but with time, patience, and diligence the stallion learns that you are the one in charge.  Once broken you are able to funnel the horses magnificent abilities.

4) AWAKENING
Once you are able to suspend reality and hold the space of stillness, this is where things get interesting.  Here, is where anything can happen.  It is the Vacuum in Quantum Science, the state that IS:  It’s Nothing; and Everything.  Here, is the state before creation, before manifestation.  There is no judgement, no reaction, only presence.

The more you practice unifying with this source, the more divine inspiration will come through you.  And as you learn to trust and receive, Transformation occurs.  You’ve tapped into the Intelligent Infinite.  It’s here, for You.